Posts Tagged "rites of passage"

Rites of Passages- a New Year’s Eve Meditation

Posted by kat on Dec 29, 2010 | 0 comments

This time of year we often look back at the past 12 months. What took place in the world and in our lives? It has been a turbulent year in many aspects. The global economy continues to be wobbly, there has been social unrest in many places and also Mother Nature reminded us of her powers through earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.

Add to that your own personal experiences. Maybe you lost your job, found a new one or were promoted?  Maybe you left what had been your home for many years, or a short time and moved far, or not so far away?  Perhaps someone close to you passed away or is no longer in your life? Maybe someone new has entered your life: a friend, a child or a spouse? Whatever it is, we tend to want to look back at our life and find meaning and purpose in it as we approach the transition into a new year.

I find it fascinating that we as humans have a need to create times of transition and celebrate or mark them with rituals, so called rites of passage; such as end of summer celebrations (Labor Day in the US, Venetian Evening in Ostrobothnia in Finland where I grew up), coming of age rituals (Bar and Bat Mitzvah, Sweet 16, Confirmation), or funeral traditions. It seems to be an innate need we have as human beings, but why?

I lost my father recently and the meaning of a funeral as a rite of transition has been on my mind. What is the transition in a funeral? The funeral is the rite when we by remembering and honoring the life of the deceased simultaneously allow the surviving family and friends to openly grieve the loss of the loved one and thus help them move on. The grieving process is longer than a funeral, of course, but the role of the funeral rite is to encourage us to mentally and emotionally begin the process of letting go of the deceased. The funeral is really the beginning of a new phase in our lives.

New Years Eve celebrations are also a rite of passage when we mark the end of a phase in our personal lives and the beginning of a new one. We will add or celebrate another anniversary of our birth in the New Year, we will file taxes according to the annual cycle, our society is constructed around our concept of time and would not function without it (remember the panic at the New Year transition 1999-2000?). But it is really a human creation, created by us to help us understand and create meaning in our existence.

Now let us adapt this concept to more common events in our personal lives, such as leaving a job or moving to a new region or country. They are both significant events in our lives, but sometimes we fail to remember that. We are used to seeing weddings, childbirth and funerals as significant lifetime events, but ignore how important the more mundane times of transitions are.

Losing a job is significant. It entails missing colleagues who also are friends, it entails the loss of core aspects of our identity and for many the loss of the feeling of being part of a group, a community, and the society at large.  Not to mention the loss of financial security and plans for the future.

We need rites of passages for losing a job! Maybe some of you have them? You go out for drinks and dinner with colleagues and friends; you take time off to travel or focus on a longtime dream project, such as building a boat.

If you have lost or left a job or relocated globally, have a rite of passage! Create your own!  Next allow yourself the time to miss and grieve your previous life; your friends, the house, the climate, the job, your office, and perhaps your daily routine. Then begin the processes of creating a new life for you. Explore your opportunities; be open to your thoughts, feelings and dreams and, experiment.

Not all career transitions and global relocation are painful. Maybe you were excitedly looking forward to the change, to a new beginning, just as many of us look forward to a New Year with new possibilities. Seize that positive energy and conserve some of it (keep a diary of thoughts and feelings, for example) for times later in the transition when life may feel like an uphill battle and the first enthusiasm for the New Year, the new career, new home, new country or new project has waned.