Sometimes I feel, at least here in the pressure-cooker culture of the North East of the US, that people wear their busyness as a superhero cape. It seems like everyone is burned out. The word burnout has entered our discourse and is here to stay, it appears.
A couple of weeks ago I published this same blog post on LinkedIn after having read an article discussing burnout from a Finnish perspective. My post received a lot of engagement and am now sharing it here for a larger audience. What I found interesting in the Finnish article ( link below) was that it stated that the best way to identify burnout is from our behaviors outside of work. The main warning sign being when you can’t find time, joy nor energy for your interests and hobbies.
We all seem to “brag”about how busy we are. I rarely hear anyone talking about how fulfilled and happy they are with their work-life balance, hobbies and interests. When did you or someone you know share how happy and fulfilled you are with your life? Are we all really this stressed out, or have we created a culture where it is expected of us to be busy? If you are not on the verge of exhaustion, you are not trying hard enough?
I am a burnout survivor. It is already over 10 years ago, but I do recall how it felt. The emotional, physical and cognitive exhaustion. How the smallest chore could become the biggest hurdle. I do not question that burnout, stress and exhaustion are real. What I am asking is – have we created a culture where being constantly busy, and feeling stressed out and exhausted is expected? Perhaps required?
Are we competing about who is the busiest one? The most stressed out one?
How do we talk about our work and life? What’s the narrative we are creating? Is our story all about our stress and busyness? Are we glorifying being busy? I admit I fall into this pattern myself. It was my need to be busy, to work hard and prove myself that contributed (only one aspect of many complicated ones) to my burnout. Being busy was an important part of my identity. It still is. I’ve had to re-evaluate my values and beliefs and my sense of self to create a way of living that is healthier and more in harmony with what I need and what I must do.
The stories we create about our lives and who we are shape our lives and who we become. Perhaps it is time to change the narrative? Is there a happy and fulfilled busy? A busy that does not result in burnout?
What are we modeling for our children?
My daughter is a junior in high school. I notice how the juniors and seniors are creating a culture of stress. They are talking about how stressed out and busy they are with their college application preparations. They feed of each other’s anxiety. Parents are often fueling this stress, as are teachers. Really? Must it be this way? Can there be a different applying-for-college narrative? I hope so. My goal as a parent is to try to be the calming anchor for my daughter as she goes through this process. To create a story where she will complete what she needs to do without losing her sleep and health.
Finally, let’s decide it is OK to not be stressed out, anxious and busy and to share it with the world.
#burnout #stress #worklifeharmony #worklifebalance #storytelling #narrative #lifestory
