Several recent articles and studies tells us that successful leaders are confident and selfless (see list at the end of this blog).
I grew up in Finland, a country with a culture that values humility and expertise. Being confident is good, but expressing your confidence too assertively is not encouraged. Confidence in combination with humility and perseverance were the core values I was raised with and what I recall learning in school.
My children are raised in the US where I live. Their schooling has been very different with a stronger focus on the individual and with an encouragement to stand out. I still remember my daughter’s pre-school teacher telling us that our then three-year-old daughter was a gentle leader. I was amused and surprised by the comment. I did not think of toddlers as leaders or thought of as such. My focus was on her learning to get along with others, being kind and share her toys.
This made me think about what we look for in leaders? Who do we choose as our leaders? The popular kids? The ones not afraid of taking space and having their voice heard? We like to follow those we admire, or, the ones who communicate confidence. Especially in times of trouble when we look for answers, direction and, safety.
What about selflessness? What does it mean to be a selfless leader? What if my daughter’s teacher had told me – your daughter is showing a lot of selflessness in her interactions with others. Would we have associated this with leadership potential? Would you?
Think about the leaders you know. How would you describe them? Can you name a selfless leader? Some of you might say Ghandi, or Jesus, or another spiritual leader.
When I think about selfless leadership, I think about the Finnish soldiers, including my grandfathers, during the brutal Winter War 1939-1940 defending Finland’s independence. It took confidence, perseverance and selflessness to endure the harsh conditions ( – 45 Degrees Fahrenheit) and to stand up against a power so much stronger than you.
Selfless leadership grows from a belief in a mission larger than your own wellbeing. Something more important than your own career, your own fame or fortune. One of my favorite writers about the topic is Col. Eric Kail from West Point. You can read his blog here.
What does it mean to be a courageous selfless leader in today’s corporate world?
The article and book “The Mind of the Leader: How to Lead Yourself, Your People, and Your Organization for Extraordinary Results” by Rasmus Haougaard talks about the importance of selfless leadership in inspiring staff to perform. In the article he defines what selfless leadership is not:
“According to research by Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology at University of California, Berkeley, when many leaders start to feel powerful, their more benevolent qualities start to decline. Corporate leaders are three times more likely than lower-level employees to interrupt co-workers, multitask during meetings, raise their voices, and say insulting things. He also found that leaders are more likely than other people to engage in rude, selfish, and unethical behavior. None of this is going to speak to the intrinsic motivation that we all share.”
A few questions to ponder about your selfless leadership style:
1. Do you seek out ways to really understand the reality of the people you lead? Can you walk in their shoes for a week and will you do it?
2. Do you push for results without considering the sacrifices your team must make to reach them or do you work with them to find ways to mitigate the sacrifices and share them?
3. Do you take time to listen to your staff? To really listen to understand, to encourage honest and open feedback without fear of retaliation?
4. Do you strive to create a culture of trust, by having the confidence to be vulnerable? To admit failure, to admit to not having all the answers and to trusting in the knowledge and skills of those lower in rank than you?
Being a selfless leader with integrity does not mean being a pushover. It means having the strength and confidence to serve those you lead, so they can serve the organization or mission you all work for.
Leading others is a position of trust and privilege and it can be taken away from us. There is an expectation that you will make decisions and act in the best interest of ALL of those you are entrusted to lead, not only the shareholders, the consumers or the interests of the few. The collapse of Enron in 2001 and political dictatorships throughout history are examples of when leaders have forgotten that leading is a selfless privilege granted to you by those you lead and serve. Both cases are defined by selfish leadership, focused on the benefit of the very few. Such leadership will eventually collapse.
My daughter’s pre-school teacher was on to something. We could all benefit from a refresher of what we learned in Kindergarten, as Arnaout et al. describes in their article “What we learned in kindergarten: five tips for collaboration in oncology” published in the Current Oncology Journal in 2017: Although sharing is a basic principle taught early on, the concept of sharing sometimes seems foreign in our present-day organizations. In the workplace, talking about “owning” or “delegating” is common practice. However, sharing and collaborating—although often “encouraged”—aren’t truly championed and are rarely, if ever, enforced with any type of corrective repercussions. Working together as a team allows for idea-sharing, personal and group responsibility, and accountability.
More on selfless leadership:
https://www.inc.com/bill-carmody/how-11-fortune-500-global-companies-retain-their-top-talent.html?cid=search
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/9-inspiring-quotes-from-one-of-most-anticipated-leadership-books-ever-published.html
https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/8-signs-to-immediately-recognize-someone-with-gift-of-true-leadership.html
https://resources.globoforce.com/globoforce-blog/the-mind-of-the-leader-how-to-lead-yourself-your-people-and-your-organization-for-extraordinary-results
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/charlie-kim/9-differences-between-selfish_b_4310247.html
