Are you obsessed about how you looked recently during that virtual meeting? Those bags under your eyes seem to get heavier each day. What about that double or triple chin and shiny forehead? Do you find yourself anxious? 

Are any of these thoughts familiar to you?  

We discussed it at my book club last week.  

About how interacting by video conference has made some of us hyperaware. Of ourselves, how we look, how we sound, what we say.  

There is a word for the hyper awareness of our looks ‘Zoom dysmorphia’ coined by Arianne Shadi Kourosh, an assistant professor of dermatology at Harvard Medical School. What is ‘Zoom dysmorphia’? In short it is when you are pre-occupied and discontent with your appearance and exposed to that perceived negative appearance for a prolonged period, or repetitively. This behavior can lead to increased self-criticism, low self-esteem, and lack of self love. It is not good for our mental health.  

Does it sound familiar?  

For me it does. I have caught myself being negatively preoccupied with my appearance, instead of focusing on who is speaking, during a meeting. According to psychologists it is normal for us to tend to look at our image during a videoconference. Our eyes are drawn to the familiar. However, the relentless self-criticism, is not good for us. And we, obviously, cannot listen actively if we are pre-occupied by that pimple on our nose, or those wrinkles on our neck.  

What can we do?  

• First, remember, no one else is as preoccupied by your appearance as you are. They are not critically examining your skin looking for blemishes or sagging skin. It is all you! 
• Second, the camera image is distorted. It is not a reflection of how you really look. Read and repeat! 

The camera angle distorts your image. For example, a straight-at-your-face angle makes your nose seem larger and your eyes smaller. A camera angle from below will make your face look wider, and you suddenly have double or triple chins. The lighting matters too. As we know.  

Armed with this knowledge, you can make changes to your camera setting, the angle, and the lighting. Then try limit the time you look at yourself during the videoconference. Be present. When you notice that you are critically examining your image, and not listening, direct your attention to the speaker.  

If possible, hide your image, or cover it with something on the screen. I’ve started doing that. It really helps me focus on my coaching clients, or teammates.  

Finally, “zoom fatigue’ is real. So be more selective about when you use video to communicate. Take the old-fashioned phone call back into your repertoire of communication strategies. Managers has a big responsibility here. Use phone calls, especially when you have one-one-one discussions. Allow staff to chose how they wish to connect. And as we are moving towards hybrid or in-person office work, remember to encourage in-person communication, and to give time for everyone to adjust. Also, yourself.