Are you having obsessive thoughts about something someone said, or a facial expression they made during yesterday’s video conference? Are you analyzing what a certain facial twitch might have meant, wondering if your boss is upset with you? Was that criticism delivered to the team, only meant for you? And what about Jake, he looked bored as I was delivering my report. And why did Anisha turn off her video mid-way through my presentation? Am I that boring?
These thoughts and feelings are signs of anxiety. The prolonged stress you have been living with for two years now, or longer, is having an impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Anxiety is a part of the fight-flight-freeze reactions and is there to protect us. This is all a normal reaction to prolonged stress, something we are all experiencing,
Living during VUCA Times (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous)
Living during a pandemic (and now also during very uncertain and volatile times) is a high stress situation. Our health and physical wellbeing and that of our loved ones’ is threatened. Living under social distancing and isolation are also stressful situations, as are experiencing a threat to global safety and stability. We need human togetherness to thrive. As studies show, those with meaningful close relationships live longer and are happier and healthier than those of us who do not have enough close social relations.
Our work community plays a significant role for our well-being. It gives us a sense of belonging, our colleagues might be our friends too, and many a relationship begun in a work context. Being deprived of this social context is stressful, and can lead to anxiety. We need each other.
While working virtually and interacting by video conference allows for flexibility and better work-life integration for many, especially for those who need to care for children, elderly family members, or others, it can not completely fill our need and preference for in-person interactions. A prolonged feeling of loneliness can and often will result in stress and anxiety. Below are a few ideas for how to deal with this:
If you notice that your thoughts about work, work-relations, or your performance are increasingly negative and anxiety-filled – take notice.
- Notice how you are feeling and what your thought patterns are. Do not try to minimize or negate them. Sit with them for a while.
- Now look at the thoughts you had about the meeting. Describe what happened and what made you feel the way you did. Ask yourself, what evidence you have for your negative thoughts. Remember we have a tendency for cognitive distortions, for example to assume the worst in a situation and avoid the positive. When we are tired and stressed, we do this more.
- Change perspective from pleasing others (perfectionism) to a healthy self confidence and striving to improve yourself. This includes allowing yourself to fail.
- Give yourself a hug. Hugging is good for us and you may wish to try to Butterfly Hug. A proven measure to deal with stress and anxiety.
You can find a Video of the Butterfly Hug here: https://youtu.be/iGGJrqscvtU
Finally, if you feel your anxious thoughts are taking over and it is increasingly difficult to let go, then seek the help of a counselor or therapist.